Thanks and sorry

On this page

• The gap
• The sakes
• The forms
• Examples
• Practice

The gap

Thanks and sorry don't say what the act did for the person. Ageben names the sake: the need that was met or harmed. Saying which one shows that you noticed.

The sakes

Sake	Need	What pays off
una	autonomy	I chose it.
uwa	competence	It worked; I can do this.
owe	understanding	It makes sense; I learned something.
uro	purpose	It matters.
awe	relatedness	We're connected.
ewa	beneficence	Someone is better off because of me.
ode	pleasure	It feels good.
oba	physical (health, rest, safety)	My body is cared for and safe.
uda	a sake, unspecified

The forms

Thanks: th + sake + tha + ending. It says my sake was met, and saying it to the person who helped is the thanks. thawetham is that helped me feel connected, and thuwathal is that sets me up for good.

Sorry: th + sake + thu + ending, then blawan. The thu word says a sake went unmet. blawan says whose: yours. Learn thawethum blawan as a set phrase: that hurt your sense of connection.

Thanks for something you own: start the thanks word with g instead of th, and put it right after the English noun. gobathal after my coat says the coat itself keeps you well, and the word already says the coat is yours. Use it only for things you own; for anything else, thank the event with the th word after the clause.

The ending is the settled-to-passing scale again:

Ending	Thanks (how long the payoff lasts)	Sorry (how lasting the harm is)
-l	it will stay with me	I'm deeply sorry
-m	thank you (the default)	I'm sorry (the default)
-r	that got me through right now	my bad

Examples

You covered my shift. thobatham.
I cancelled again. thawethum blawan.
Thanks for teaching me the shortcut, thuwathal.
You listened all evening. thowetham.
My old coat gobathal has lasted ten winters.
I spoiled the ending. thodethur blawan.

thobatham thanks someone for the rest. thodethur blawan owns a small, passing harm to someone's enjoyment. gobathal thanks the coat, not anyone's act, and its -l says the care it gives is lasting.

Practice

Thank or apologize, naming the sake the note gives.

1. You let me pick the restaurant. (thanks; autonomy)

Show answer

You let me pick the restaurant. thunatham.

2. I forgot your birthday. (sorry; relatedness, and the harm can be mended)

Show answer

I forgot your birthday. thawethum blawan.

3. You explained the bill to me. (thanks; understanding, and it will stay with me)

Show answer

You explained the bill to me. thowethal.